Side: sex and intimacy without anal penetration.
“Side” describes men who prefer sexual connection that does not center on anal sex.
It’s not “foreplay,” not “incomplete,” and not a placeholder for top/bottom—it's a valid preference.
Not top/bottom
Defined by what you enjoy
No penetration required
Consent and clarity matter
What sides typically mean in practice
Everyone’s different, but “side” usually points to preferences like:
- Kissing, making out, hands-on intimacy
- Oral sex and mutual pleasure
- Frottage / grinding / body-to-body sex
- Erotic touch, massage, and sensual play
- Connection that can be intense and sexual without anal penetration
Plain language: if you don’t want anal sex (as a rule or most of the time), and you’re into other kinds of sex, “side” may fit.
Common misconceptions
- “Sides are just afraid.” Not necessarily. Many simply prefer other kinds of sex.
- “Sides aren’t sexual.” Wrong. Side sex can be very sexual and satisfying.
- “You must pick a role.” You don’t. Roles are optional, not mandatory.
- “It’s only for beginners.” Plenty of experienced men identify as sides.
Why the label helps
The point is communication. Saying I’m a side quickly sets expectations and avoids awkward guesswork.
It also makes space for men who never felt reflected in “top/bottom/vers” conversations.
This is not about excluding anyone; it’s about describing a preference clearly and without apology.
What this site is (and isn’t)
- Is: definitions, FAQs, real-world guidance on talking about side preferences
- Is: a place to normalize non-penetrative sex as a complete experience
- Isn’t: a hookup or dating service
- Isn’t: a judgement zone for tops, bottoms, or vers men
Coming soon: deeper FAQ, myth-busting, conversation scripts, and a starter guide for guys exploring whether “side” fits.